Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Women say, Men Say.

Going around the office today was one of those "when women say this, they really mean this" list. True as these may be I felt the need to rebuttal the meaning with what men are really saying to the same words. Let me know if you agree.

1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' ... that will bring on a 'whatever').
(8) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying Forget YOU! (9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.

Here are the Men’s rebuttal

1. FINE: Things are good, great looking car or we are talking about sand paper.
2. FIVE MINUTES: It is a barometer of our sexual desires if you get my drift.
3. NOTHING: Statement men usually get when we explain item 2.
4. GO AHEAD: Yellow at intersection or the light has been red to long and since on one is looking GO AHEAD and run the light.
5. LOUD SIGH: Didn’t see the cop at the corner when we ran the stop light.
6. THAT’S OK: Just consumed a double beef whopper with cheese but to offset the calories we order a diet coke. THAT’S OK.
7. THANKS: Proper response to Item 2.
8. WHATEVER: Man’s response to item 5. Usually followed by FINE from women.
9. DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT, I GOT IT. Means man has forgotten something he was suppose to do and is now hoping that this response will delay the LOUD SIGH.

I hope you enjoyed the laugh. God bless.